Please help me... (long story)...?

I want you to know that you can control your feelings and your brain. As long as you linger on this girl the longer you will cry and feel this pain. Someday you will be able to look back at this and learn from it. Hopefully a life long lesson. The pain may be worse for you because you may have guilt about how you showed your anger and the pain is always worse for people who were booted, as opposed to booting someone. As much as you may be sorry that you yelled at her, she realized that she doesn't want to be around people that yell and get angry at her, and this is her decision. Don't expect to hear from her, and let it lie. If you continue to pursue her, this may only push her away. At this point think of the good times you had together and hold them as precious memories. Now that you are trying to improve yourself, keep it up. Keep it up for you and you only and learn how to control your anger. If this girl was not ready to be commited then she was not the right one for you. Listen, there are so many fish in the sea, you will eventually learn to get over her and there will be better ones for you in the future. Treat girls tenderly and affectionately and be to them what you want them to be to you. Take their heart in your hands and be kind and loving, always. You will find the right one.